Stepping Out of the Win-Lose Arena

Judges are trained to decide.

Lawyers are trained to advocate.

Mediators are trained to listen and facilitate resolution.

Litigation is about winning and losing and the loser is penalized with costs. 

Advocating is about, (depending on the lawyer), fighting to win for your client, or arguing for what you believe is the fairest outcome.

Mediation is about relationship preservation, forward-looking solutions, empowering the parties to make decisions for themselves, with the guidance of a skilled, neutral mediator.

As a former family law litigator, I have witnessed first-hand how destructive family court can be for families. It is difficult for the parties to disengage from the mindset of proving who is right and who is wrong. But at any stage of a legal proceeding, parties should be encouraged by their lawyers, to step out of the win-lose arena and opt to mediate their dispute. All too often parties don’t realize, until they have spent thousands of dollars on legal fees, that if they had talked things through with the support of a skilled mediator, in a safe, non-judgmental space, that they could have resolved their issues themselves.